Beginnings

Yesterday I attended a Labor Hearing in order to collect the money that was due to me on the job I posted about in my last post - phew that was a *&*ing long time ago! So not only was I basically slave labor for 8 weeks (I wrapped the movie after we finished shooting) but they failed to pay me for my last week and a half of work. I won my case and now I can say that they owe me even more but I'm not any closer to getting paid. After that movie I worked on a couple of other things - one as a 2d2d//Cast P.A. (got to hang out with Joe Mantegna) (yum) who is a wonderful, kind man and a true professional. I love it when the artist doesn't ruin the art for me. Then I did a couple of gigs for Spike TV and Nickelodeon doing little one-day t.v. promos - of course, since I was coordinating them one-day jobs means two to three weeks of prep (seriously). Then just after the new year I went on a location scout to NYC and DC for a film that basically hasn't been funded yet so although I got a fabulous paid working vacation in January before NY decided to have a real winter, for now it's not going anywhere.

During the last half a year, I've been feeling sort of adrift, lost as it were and not focused and I went through a depression that I couldn't shake. Then, at the end of January Carl and I were in a bookstore looking for wall calendars (I know, but they're cheaper after the new year) and as I was leaving because of course they were out of them, a book on a display table caught my eye. It was Catching the Big Fish by David Lynch and I picked it up and started reading it, then I bought it, brought it home and read it in an afternoon (it's the sort of book you can and want to do that with). It's all about his creative process and how it's been influenced by transcendental meditation. So after I read it, I went on a google search and looked at the TM site (eeewww) I don't know, it kind of creeped me out so I decided to search on "vedic meditation" because TM is based on vedic knowledge. I found this fabulous site and from February 11 through the 15th Carl and I attended vedic meditation classes (and at some point I hope to transcend while meditating). I'm not saying meditation is the answer to not feeling lost (although I can't even begin to tell you the difference it's made for me already) but I think it's going to lead me to the answer I have inside and in the meantime, I feel less like a wave about to crash onto the beach and more like a part of the ocean that comprises me that I comprise...anyway, that's where I'm at these days. How about you?