Sundays

Carl and I haven't had many Sundays the last six months because since early November Carl has had a succession of long gigs out of town. By May 1, we will have spent 6 Sundays together (he's home on the 24th of April) out of 25. Sundays are Carl's and my thing. We're the cliched couple having coffee over crosswords and sudoko.

I guess that's why Sundays are the hardest for me. I do the crossword alone and if there is a Sunday West Magazine I do that one as well. I wait for 1 p.m. so that I can call Greece to be sure to catch him in his room. He has an early set call so is usually in bed by 11 p.m. That means I get the five minutes before he falls into an exhausted sleep.

He sounds good and the shoot is going well. He says he feels he's doing his best work yet. For me, all this freetime means that I've not only finished the first draft of my first screenplay but have managed a second draft and am now polishing it for a third pass. Creatively, we're booming.

But Sundays are slow and seemingly endless.

Forgiveness

I recently did something that I immediately regretted and of course, true to form, apologized to the person whose feelings I had hurt. It was someone very close, someone I love and trust and I suppose that's why somewhere in my tiny little subconscious I thought I could get away with being a brat.

The thing is when I apologized, this person who is warm and generous and who I truly believe thought she was letting me off the hook said "Oh, please, no need to apologize, I completely understand." The problem was that I didn't want to be understood for my outrageous behavior, I wanted to be forgiven.

It makes me realize that I have done the "no worries, no need to apologize" and left someone hanging as well. I think it is important to say to that person: "Thank you for the apology, I forgive you" because then they know they have been heard, acknowledged and, most important, absolved.

Forgiveness is a grace that we need to resurrect.

October Already

I can't believe we're three days into October. Man time flies.

Carl and I are out one yellow Xterra right now because he was in an accident last Thursday. He had made the light at Sunset and Laurel Canyon (travelling east on Sunset) and was inching along behind a line of cars. If you know that area of town, you know that at 10 p.m. on any night it's officially the border of the Sunset Strip and traffic can be miserable. Carl wouldn't normally be there but he had a wrap party for a trailer he shot this past summer. So he's sitting there and the light was still green behind him but there wasn't any room for another car to come through it - or so he thought - a 20-something from Colorado, not paying attention, had just come from the previous traffic light and whizzed through the green light at 45 and slammed into the back of Carl, sending him into the car in front of him, sending her into the car in front of her. 4 car pile up. If that wasn't annoying and jarring enough, little 20-something Julie Mack from Colorado got out of her car on her cell phone laughing and talking. When Carl asked her for her information, she handed him a stack of messy papers that he had to sift through to find her insurance, etc.

The truly galling thing though was that after causing three other drivers to slam into one another, she never said "I'm so sorry" "Are you alright?" and never once did she get off the cell phone.

DC

I leave for Washington D.C. tomorrow for 2 days. Get in Thursday night, shoot all day Friday, leave Saturday morning. The funny thing is I'm actually looking forward to it even though it's a working trip and mostly running around. I like DC, I like the vibe of the place. I like the history, both from a political stance and from a scandal view. It's a dirty little town wrapped in pretty white tissue paper.

Blotto Blogging

1. Don't drink and blog or I'll wake up at 4 in the morning and not be able to go back to sleep.
2. When I'm pissed off, look at the reason behind the anger. If it's embarrassment, don't write about it on a blog.
3. My parents and only a few random close friends read this blog - now they also share in this private little tidbit that I somehw believed was just between me and the ex.
4. I don't have to ever see any of these people again and if any of them comment on any of it or mention either of these entries I can actually decide to cut them off socially.
5. I am not allowed to delete either of these entries, just like I wouldn't be able to "unsend" a "drunk email" in order to more fully appreciate the moment.
6. Don't drink and blog or I'll have to get up at 6 in the morning to make amends.
7. Don't share anything with a spouse that I won't want them to tell their girlfriend after I'm gone.
8. Assure my parents that the palamino had nothing to do with delusions of being Catherine the Great - it wasn't that dream.
9. Vow to somehow live this down.
10. Don't drink and blog.

Boundarires - or corraling the Palamino

Did you really think I would appreciate a laugh at my expense? First of all, I'm broke. Second, you and I are still friends which means that there is a possiblity of spending time with your new love. It's all a question of supply and demand. I refuse to supply a laugh on demand. And I find it interesting that when I call your bluff, you want to muck your hand and hang up on me. I've played this game before -- okay all metaphor aside -- you told your girlfriend I dreamt about a Palamino years ago and now you laugh whenever you see that word on a sign.

I am a private joke.

Guess what?

That now makes me a public enemy....

Time Flies

I wrote the last post right before I left on a 6 day working cruise to Hawaii. I was the Production Coordinator for one of those silly dvds that they send out to travel agents to entice people to take the cruise. The good part was that it was Crystal Cruises, one of the top of the line, most expensive cruise lines and the food and alcohol was outrageous and, of course, free. Normally, alcohol is not, but what else was I going to do with my per diem? The bad part was that I was out on the ocean for four days, no land in sight and frankly, only got to look at the water very early in the morning and very late at night since I was working 14 hour days.

The Sunday I stepped off of a red-eye flight into LAX, I got a call regarding a documentary on PTSD. That evening I met with the Producer/Director and the next morning (March 19) was hired as Associate Producer.

So, needless to say, I've been a little busy the last several weeks.

It's odd to say I'm enjoying my experience on the documentary given the seriousness of the subject but one of the alleviating factors is that we're concentrating on successful treatments and the effect of spirituality on the ability to heal.

Finally, the fact is I just love working on documentaries. I love information. I love being a part of information dissemination and I love thinking that maybe I'm contributing to something that will ultimately help humanity.