05 October 2007


I recently did something that I immediately regretted and of course, true to form, apologized to the person whose feelings I had hurt. It was someone very close, someone I love and trust and I suppose that's why somewhere in my tiny little subconscious I thought I could get away with being a brat.

The thing is when I apologized, this person who is warm and generous and who I truly believe thought she was letting me off the hook said "Oh, please, no need to apologize, I completely understand." The problem was that I didn't want to be understood for my outrageous behavior, I wanted to be forgiven.

It makes me realize that I have done the "no worries, no need to apologize" and left someone hanging as well. I think it is important to say to that person: "Thank you for the apology, I forgive you" because then they know they have been heard, acknowledged and, most important, absolved.

Forgiveness is a grace that we need to resurrect.


bill said...

I think I understand what you're saying and where you're coming from, but when a person says "no need to apologize" I believe it a defense statement to keep from being hurt further. You cannot lay the burden back on the person you just insulted. They need time to process their own feelings. Time to let the hurt pass and time to decide to forgive or let the insult eat at them for life. The thing to ask is "Are you really looking for honesty, their forgiveness, or are you just looking to make yourself feel better? Also, ask yourself, Why did I feel a need to respond with an insult? Build yourself, work on yourself. Easier said than done. If someone does offend me. I now try to hold back anger and a quick response. But I will ask why they felt a need to insult me? No, I'm not a self help book, just trying to fiqure/understand/process life and human nature.

Sanora said...

good point Bill - thanks

mark said...

Hey! Does this thing still work??

What's going on???