Naked Man Dance

A little story about my husband that took place shortly after he moved in (before we were married)...

One Sunday morning I was in the yard inspecting the recent bougainvillea trimming done by a new yard man. Carl was in the shower.

Now, if you're not a southwestern native or have never been there, let me describe a bougainvillea bush. They start out small and pretty, medium sized green leaves, red or orange or purple or white blossoms that appear year round. Two drawbacks to the lovely bougainvillea...(1) it is essentially a well evolved weed which means it grows like a son of a buck; and (2) its lovely, forever sprouting branches have one to one and a half-inch slender thorns to protect the bush and to help it climb and entwine any structure. Back to the story...

So I'm walking around barefoot in my jammies when I step on one of the slender branches that was missed by the rake. One-inch thorn goes deep into the ball of my foot. Suffice it to say I let out a scream that would have made Hitchcock proud and proceed to hop to the cement patio/veranda and sit on the edge, still yelping, to survey the damage. Behind me I hear Carl's voice "Baby are you alright?" I continue to yell..."Baby, come in the house, are you okay? Come in the house..." I continue to whimper. "Baby, what's wrong..." Carl is now a few feet behind me. I continue to whimper "Ow, Ow, Ow!" trying to pull three inch thorn from foot (well, it felt like it had grown!) Carl is now frantically pulling at my shoulder trying to get me to get up and come into house....."Baby, I'm naked." I look up behind me at Carl, who is doing a naked man dance (moving back and forth from one foot to the other, glancing over his shoulder at the neighbor's window and alternating between covering his penis and reaching for me). I watch, completely stunned for a moment and then pop the thorn out, hop in through the back door, where I collapse in laughter on the kitchen floor.

I decided then and there that I had chosen the right man because anyone who would hear their loved one in pain, drop their towel and run to their aid is a mensch.

We were married in front of friends and family in our backyard two months later.