24 August 2005

Combining the Twins

I've been thinking alot about recent posts on both this site and my evil twin and comments that I've made in response to others' queries and ruminations. I find that blogging somehow brings out the worst in me at times. By worst, I mean sometimes I think I say things to be tough or to get a reaction. Case in point, Kris wrote about quirks today and I responded that I love one of my cats more than the other. Not really true. I love them both for their own individual personalities and loving qualities. Ooooh, there's a confession for you. Another case in point, I recently commented on someone's blog that my first husband wasn't really a "partner" - now it was actually wrapped up in another point I was making about the fact that marriage isn't the answer to whether or not you can follow your dreams as a single person economically but the truth is, I wasn't a "partner" in that marriage either. Not that I allowed that to enter the comment, because, hey I was writing "off the cuff" and not going into details....or was I just leaving out details that might make me look bad, probably both. Either way, I think it's okay that he and I failed at our marriage but I don't think it's okay to sum it up as one or the other's fault. We're both pretty cool people, just not together.

You know, on a related note, I like that I have an evil twin blog but I know that it doesn't divorce me from responsiblity for what I say and how I say it. I guess I'm just getting used to throwing my s*&t out there and seeing it actually stick to something. Much different from being a poet and being able to obscure the meaning - not that you really have to obscure anything as a poet, no one reads you anyway.

On a completely separate note, I started school again today and am excited about my screenplay professor. Syd Field. I'm just hoping it doesn't go south. You know how when you were a kid, like say, junior high and the first day of class you said Mr. Wilson is a great guy but Mr. Gunther is a pain in the ass and then by the end of the year, you loved the fact that Mr. Gunther made you think for yourself and started thinking Mr. Wilson was a nimrod for making the same stupid jokes all year. It's the same in Grad school. Kind of scary that you can put your house into hock with a second mortgage and still end up with a junior high experience. In the meantime, I think Mr. Field is cool and I'll keep you updated if he makes the same stupid jokes or if he delivers the way Mr. Gunther did.

I'm waiting for Carl to get home from a meeting on a movie he's prepping. He hates this part, not that he hates prepping a movie but he hates the uncertainty of whether something is actually going to shoot. You'd be surprised at how many movies "prep" without making it onto film. In the meantime, my neighbors are fighting again. I should tell you that my neighbors have knock down, screaming fights with a little physical violence thrown in for good measure about twice a month. I'd be surprised if Jr. doesn't off them when he turns 18. Film at 11:00.

At least it's finally nice enough outside to turn the fans on and pull a little cool air in. Ah, indian summers, gotta love 'em.

Enough random thoughts for you?


Nicole Criona said...

I loved this post - so honest.
I was sturck by the sad comment that no one reads poets anyway. Such a sad thing - we have some incredibly talented poets in Los Angeles (yourself included, dear!).

Kris said...

So interesting . . . I wish we could have a drink and talk about this in person.

Interestingly, I don't really like one cat better than the other. (I will admit, however, that I wanted to clobber the one who was chewing on my hair and had kept me up the night prior.) I simply wrote the statement for comic relief.

I embrace my twin. Unless I am saying hurtful things, to myself or others, I feel like embracing that cynical or sassy side of me is being true to myself.

I agree with Nicole. I love the honesty in everything you write. :)

Brian said...

No. Not nearly enough random thoughts! I'm thirsty for more!

Cammy said...

THE Syd Field?! Author of several books on my bookshelf? Color me green with envy.

Sanora said...

Thanks for all of your support for my ramblings last night! Nicole, so sweet...Kris, if I'm ever in DC again, I'm going to demand to pay for your glass of wine. Brian, just trying to keep up with you, Dude. Oh, and yes, Cammy, it's the Syd Field of many screenplay books (amazing what you get when you pay USC's exorbitant tuition) and he seems to be a first rate guy - same energy in person as in his books.

Kris said...


Kris said...

I'm still here . . . you are on vacation . . . :)